April 23, 2013

not real

It felt real even if it wasn't. When you stop noticing the difference you're screwed.

the defining past

No matter how much I try to deny it and forget it, erase it from my memory, I can't. It doesn't matter that I've kept it a secret, I know and that's enough to haunt me forever. I'll always know I betrayed myself, I'll always know I was weak, I'll always know. My past defines me, it's still changing me whether I want it or not.

April 20, 2013

the night i wasn't invisible

He walked in shy, didn't know anyone around, he sat next to me and asked why I wasn't playing the game, "I'm awful", I confessed. His eyes fixated on me, such an usual feeling, he told me his story in less than 5 minutes and kept asking about me.

I wasn't invisible that day.

Not to him, his eyes kept locking with mine all night.

I wasn't invisible to him.

April 17, 2013

the eternal questions

Not here, not now,
not there, not then,
I never find the pieces to mend.

Not here, not there,
not now, not then,
can somebody please explain?

If not here, if not now, then when and where?

miles apart

These things never crossed his mind I'm sure, but they crossed mine everytime our eyes locked thousands of miles apart. I wasn't able to separate one from another. I felt intensly for those eyes, for that skin, for that mind. 

I yearned to meet him. 
I feared that same thing too.

April 7, 2013


I was thankful for my family, no one suffers your losses like they do, no one holds your hand to stand up like they do. They truly make everything better.

April 5, 2013


Sinking back,
back to the abyss of positive impossibility.
I drown looking up,
as I watch my murderer try to comple the deed,
never have seen such vicious eyes,
that hatred and doubt in anything else but a mirror.